The Real Reason
by Silver Ravenwood
Summary: Set after Buffy runs away...what happens when she meets up with Spike outside Sunnydale


Spike held the limp Drucilla in his arm as he drove away from Sunnydale

**A/N-**This takes place right after Becoming pt 2…..This is sort of my take on why Spike really hates Buffy. Rated M for a reason…..explicit scene later on. Enjoy!

Spike held the limp Drucilla in his arm as he drove away from Sunnydale. He didn't even think twice about looking back. Eventually night came, and he pulled into a small town. Luckily he was smart enough to have picked up some blood before he left. Dru was still out cold, or sleeping. He couldn't tell which. He pulled into a cheap motel. He opened the door and placed Dru on the bed, she was still out cold. He was bored of sitting. He had spent too much time sitting in the wheelchair, and then in the car. Making sure that there was blood on the table for when she woke up he left locking the door behind him. He wandered around town seeing nothing in particular that interested him. When he got to a street with a little diner on it he sensed something familiar but couldn't quite place it.

He moved towards the diner and the feeling got stronger. He needed coffee anyway, so after finishing his cigarette he walked in and took a seat in the very back. His presence did not go unnoticed and soon a waitress was at his table. "What do you want?" said a familiar voice. He was pretty sure she wasn't referring to ordering. He glanced at her name tag and smirked. "Anne is it? Well pet, I'll take a coffee." He looked up at the face of his sworn enemy. His smirk was met with a glare.

She bent over the table pretending to wipe it down and fix the sugar and ketchup that was on the other side. In a low voice she said "Why the hell are you here Spike? I told you I never wanted to see you again." He sat back and sighed. "As I recall luv you said you didn't want to see me in Sunnydale ever again. And unless this bloody town changed names this ain't it. An now the real question is what are you doing in this dump?" She ignored the question. "Just drink your coffee and get out." He laughed. "As if I would want to stay here lookin at you." She glared at him more and stalked off.

He sat there for a while with his coffee just watching her. He hated to admit it, but he did feel bad for her. Even though her face remained expressionless, minus the occasional fake smile to the customer, her eyes held volumes of pain, confusion and unsureness She was lost and lonely and a long way from home. He watched as she bused tables and took orders and brought food. This was no place for the slayer. He snorted in disgust. He couldn't watch anymore. Leaving money on the table for the coffee and a generous tip he walked out without another word to her.

He walked down the street headed back to the motel. It was sad to see a slayer, the chosen one blah blah blah reduced to waiting on tables and getting hit on by ugly horny men. It actually bothered him. She should be training. He didn't want a pushover as an opponent. Took all the fun out of it. It wouldn't feel like a real victory when he finally got around to killing her.

He keyed into his room only to find the bed was empty and the blood he left on the table gone. "Dru?" He called out looking around. "Oh Dru!" He searched the bathroom finding it empty. He walked back outside. "DRU!" He called. There was no response. He cursed and punched the wall. Damn bitch had left. Once again he headed out, this time to find either a liquor store or the nearest bar.

She sighed as she watched him go. She hated him yes, but part of her was glad to see something that reminded her of her old life, what used to be her home.

After her shift was done she hung up her apron and said bye to the cooks and one waitress that was still there. She was exhausted. Being a waitress was better than being a slayer sure. Sure she got hit on and goosed by almost every male customer, and some female ones, but at least she got paid for it. And tips. Tonight they were especially good too, mainly the one that Spike had left her. She rolled her eyes. It felt a little like charity, but hey she needed the money.

She walked into her "apartment" if you could call it that. It was 3 rooms that were pretty bare. It had the necessities, kitchen, bathroom and one living/bedroom.

But it was cheap and the furniture had come with the place. She didn't ask about the previous owners. She didn't really care to know. Granted in this town it was more likely that something human had happened, but the possibility of demon involvement was always there too. She changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt and sank down on the couch/bed. Patrolling wasn't something she felt was necessary here, after all she had run away from Sunnydale to get away from all that.

She lazily flipped through the channels not really finding anything on. She finally settled on some comedy that didn't really make her laugh, but it beat all the romance/drama shows that were on. She was definitely not in the mood to experience love of any kind. It just reminded her of what she did. Had to do.

That's what she kept telling herself. It was necessary. He was the key. His blood could open and close the portal. It still didn't make it any easier or her feel any less guilty. She let her mind wander to thoughts of back home, how her friends were doing, how her mom was doing. She missed Giles. A lot. She sighed and lay down getting lost in her thoughts.

She was half asleep when there was a knock at the door. She sat up and attempted to look presentable.

Reaching the door she peered through the peep-hole. With a sigh of annoyance she opened it. "What do you want?" She demanded. "Well hello luv. Good to see you too. Can I come in?" She glared at him.

Leaning against her door he smirked. "Listen pet, I'm not here to kill you. Yet. Just figured you could use some company." "And what gave you that idea?" She asked coolly. "Well, you're here all by your lonesome. Unless you got a guy in there which I highly doubt." He straightened up. "Look Slayer. I came because Dru left and you're the only bloody person in this town who seems relatively tolerable." She rolled her eyes. "And I care that she left why?" "Well for one, she's a dangerous vampire on the loose. Two, I'm here because you're not the only one who lost someone. Angel was a ponce yeah, but he was my family kinda. It's always sad when a family member dies. Misery loves company luv."

She laughed. "You know about misery? You cause misery!" He snorted. "Doesn't mean I can't feel anything. Just cus I don't have a bloody soul I still have some emotion." She laughed harder. "Right Spike. And I'm just gonna let you into my apartment with your word you won't kill me. Good one."

He rolled his eyes. "I won't kill you. Look, I know you're lonely and so am I. Not to mention I'm not in a killing mood, nor am I hungry." She turned her back on him and walked back to the couch. "Fine. Come in. But I'm warning you, I have holy water and stakes made of crosses. Close the door behind you" He nodded and walked in. "Wow Slayer. Never pictured you for the uh…cozy type." He said eyeing her tiny living space. She glared at him again. "If by cozy you mean craphole then yes. It's cozy." "Eh," he said with a shrug, "S'not that bad." She gave him another look. "It smells like cats and old people." He laughed. "I would say more like mold and rat infestation." She didn't say anything, but a small smile played on her lips.

He walked over and sank down onto her couch bed thing. They sat in silence for a while, just watching the TV. Finally Spike pulled out a 2 bottles of brown liquid. "Got glasses luv?" She looked at him disdainfully. "What is that?" She asked picking up the bottle. "You've got to be crazy." He eyed her. "Why?" "Well Spike, for one, I'm 16. Two, how do I know you won't get me drunk and kill me? And three, I still am the slayer even though I'm not actively slaying at the moment. What if something happens and I'm too gone to do anything?"

"Relax pet. I'm not gonna kill you I promise. Not like this anyway. No fun in a drunk slayer. I want a real challenge. And look around…..I doubt anyone's gonna find you in this town." She eyed the bottles warily. _Hell, _she thought. _I've already run away from home, and maybe this will numb everything even for a little while._ She crossed the room and pulled out two dusty glasses from the cabinet. Rinsing them off, she brought them over to the table and set them down. Spike poured them both a glass, took his and quickly started downing it. She picked hers up tentatively and sniffed it. Taking a small sip she almost gagged. "Eugh! How do you drink this stuff?" He smirked. "Easy luv. You get used to it after a while. Got anything to mix it with? Might taste better."

She picked up the only other drink in the place besides water, a 2 week old bottle of Coke, and poured some of it into the glass. Taking another sip she cringed. "Still gross. Better, but yucky." He chuckled. "Well drink fast pet, the sooner you do the less you'll taste."

After about 4 she was giggling and slurring her speech a little. "Shpikey!! You have a funny name. Reminds me of a puppy. Come! Sit! Stay!" She giggled leaning forward almost spilling her drink. "Oy! I like my name. Instills fear and other scary things" He replied, far from sober himself. She giggled more and poured herself another drink.

As the night went on, they both got more comfortable with each other. The alcohol helped of course. As Buffy went to pick up the bottle she frowned. Holding the bottle upside down she declared "All gone!" She sounded like a three year old, and then began to pout like one. "Now now pet, no need for that. Turn that frown upside down." She couldn't help but giggle at this statement. Pretty soon both parties were lying on the floor laughing hysterically.

Buffy closed her eyes briefly, and did not like the effect. She sat up quickly. Holding her head in her hands she moaned "Spinney…spinney bad. Make it stop." Spike who was drunk, but still sober enough to have some common sense. Buffy tried to stand but fell back down. "Oops" She mumbled. Spike stood up shakily and stumbling carried her into the bathroom. Seconds later, her head was in the toilet.

Eventually she pulled herself off and lie on the bathroom floor. Spike handed her a glass of water and a mint. She put his head on his shoulder. "S'my fault you know." Her voice came out a hoarse whisper. "What is luv?" "Everything. Angel. The world ending. My mom hating me. Allllll me. I killed him." Tears were starting to form and roll down her face. "I killed him and he was so hurt and confused and his eyes! I could see it. And he said he loved me and I loved him…" She trailed off into sobs.

Spike put his arm around her waist and drew her closer. He didn't mind the Slayer so much. She was warm and smelled relatively good, minus the stale alcohol. He stroked her hair. "Shhh luv. S'Ok" She sniffled. "Nuh uh. I killed the one I love. That's not ok." He put his chin on her head. "You did what you had to. If not the world would have been poof. You needed to whether you loved him or not." She sniffled more.

"Spiky?" She said looking up. "Hmm?" She sat up. He looked at her and their eyes met. "Thank you." He leaned his head back again. "Anytime, gorgeous." She blinked. "Do you really think I'm gorgeous?" "Mhmm" He said without looking at her.

Without warning she leaned over and brushed her lips against his. He sat up with a confused look on his face, but that didn't stop her. She pushed her lips into his harder now, and he responded. Soon, their tongues were invading each others mouths. _Thank god for breath mints_ Spike though, even though he could still taste stale alcohol on her.

She broke away from kissing his lips and began to kiss down his neck, and back up to where she nibbled at his earlobe. He let out a groan, this was almost too much. Especially since his wheelchair incident and he had been….incapacitated. Well, that and Dru was busy shagging Angel. But he tried not to think about that, and it was easy considering Buffy had a very skilled mouth that had worked its way back to his.

The Slayer really was gorgeous. For a sworn enemy that was. And she was drunk. That made for good sex. But what happens in the morning? He decided against doing anything lest she put a stake through him when she woke up. "Buffy…..pet…..stop…" He pushed her away gently. She looked at him with her pouty face again. "But why..?" She asked. He sighed. "As much fun as it would be to hop in the sack with you, you're drunk and I don't fancy a stake through me when you wake up." She pouted a little more. "Sorry luv." With a mumbled 'fine' she settled back down on his chest and soon they both fell asleep on the bathroom floor.

The next morning she found herself on her bed. Couch. Thing. However she was not alone. She was curled up quite comfortably with Spike. At this point she normally would have jumped up and started kicking the shit out of him, however, she was comfortable and moving took effort that she just didn't have. Plus her head was owey. Extremely owey.

She opened her eyes and shut them immediately. The room was dark thanks to Spikes brilliant idea of putting his duster over the small window, but it was still daylight and bright. She suspected that the duster was more for his sake than hers though.

She sighed. _What the hell did I do last night?_ The only thing that came to mind was lots of giggling. About what, well who knew? And the bathroom. And kissing Spike._ Oh god I kissed him._ She groaned. "Mornin' luv." She groaned again in response. She felt a pair of lips on her forehead, and remembered how he had comforted her and taken care of her last night. The thought of him touching her definitely didn't repulse her as much as it used to. In fact it kind of sent a warm feeling down through her spine.

She moaned again as he got off the couch. He walked over to the kitchen and began searching through cabinets until he found the thing he was looking for. He popped open the bottle and took several white pills out. He also got a glass of water and handed it to her. She mumbled her thanks without opening her eyes. "If your up for it, I got breakfast." He offered. She nodded…surprisingly just her head hurt. _Well I suppose I got the stomach part of this out of the way last night. _

With some effort she sat up to see Spike had gone back to the kitchen and was fiddling with something on the counter. "Why are you so….cheerful. And not so owey…" He chuckled. "Vampire. We heal quicker and get less hangovers." She glared. "So not fair."

He turned around and walked back to the living area with a plate in his hand. "Figured you liked bagels. Did you know they open early? Went to get a bite to eat and found one. You had no food, so I figured hell why not." She took the plate gratefully. She took a few bites and then put it down. "Why are you being nice to me?" She asked. "We're supposed to be enemies and whatever." He shrugged. "Who says enemies can't be friends? Anyway I'm a complex guy. I mean I can't be all evil and bitey all the time. Gets boring." "Ah." She continued to eat her bagel.

She finished her bagel and got in the shower. Unfortunately, she left her clothes in her bag, next to her bed, next to Spike. She sighed. Either way he was going to see her, if he brought her clothes to her, or if she went to get them. She figured it was just easier to go get them. She started across the room in her towel, and couldn't help notice that Spike was staring.

She raised her eyebrows. "Hello? Earth to Spike?" He shook himself out of it. "Oh..yeah..sorry pet." "Whatever." She rummaged through her clothing bag pulling out a few items. She turned around and he was back to staring. "Spike!!" Once again he shook himself out of it and grinned. "Sorry……you're just…so naked….and well, gorgeous." She blushed. He stood up and walked over to her. He was standing so close to her, and all she could think about was the way he kissed her last night.

Before she knew it, he was kissing her again. He captured her mouth with his in a passionate kiss. Their tongues explored each others mouths. Once again her mouth moved from his to kiss down his neck and then back up again, sucking and biting his earlobe. Her tongue traced the outline of his cartilage. He groaned.

His reaction to her touch was very clear to see, the front of his jeans bulging out. He could tell that she liked his touch too though. He could smell her arousal. He made a daring move and cupped one towel covered breast with his hand. He massaged it, finding the nipple and lightly brushing his fingers over it again and again. He did the same with the other breast, and it was very clear she enjoyed it thoroughly.

She moved her hand up his leg and cupped the bulge before moving her hands to his waistband and inserting them into his pants. She lightly brushed his inner thigh. He groaned and she grinned wickedly. Her hand suddenly moved up and down his length while the other one undid his pants, letting his erection out. After his pants were off, she moved her hand down to gently play with his balls.

He moved his hand up her thigh and he found her very wet opening. He pushed two fingers in and she gasped. "In me…now…" She whispered. He tore off her towel and lay her down gently on the couch. He kissed his way down to her breast, taking it into his mouth. He flicked his tongue against her nipple before biting it gently and moving to the other one to repeat the same process. She moaned and arched up into him.

He placed himself at her entrance. Looking at her he asked her one last time if she was sure about doing this. After all, this would only be her second time. "God, Spike, yes please…." He pushed into her relatively gently at first, going slow. Letting her get used to him inside her. Once she was acclimated, he pushed harder and deeper, loving the feeling of her warmth and tightness surrounding him. She arched her back and thrust her hips in time with his movements. Every time he thrust he could feel her coming closer and closer. She screamed as he hit the perfect spot inside of her. Her muscles clenched around him, and it was too much for him to take. With a few final thrusts he came hard inside of her.

They lie together on the couch afterwards for what seemed like forever. He found that he loved the feeling of warmth on top of him. He loved feeling her heartbeat and her chest as it rose and fell. He stroked her hair gently. It was so soft and silky. Nothing was said for a while. "You got to go back sometime luv. Can't run forever. They'll be missing you."

She nodded. "I know. I'm just….not ready." He sighed. "Right. Well, that was bloody fantastic Slayer. No wonder Angel went to the dark side." She flinched at the mention of him. "Oh right, sorry." He apologized and lit a cigarette.

Eventually they grew tired of lying around. Well, Buffy did. Spike didn't mind. But she had work in the morning. And he was just another distraction. So he kissed her goodbye and told her he would stop by tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night never came. By the time he got around to her apartment it was 9:00. It had just gotten dark. He knew she would be there, her shift ended sometime in the afternoon. He knocked on the door. There was no response. He waited a few minutes and tried again. Still, no answer. Finally he just gave up and kicked the door in. He looked around. "Oh bloody hell not again!" He snarled.

The apartment was empty, all of her things were gone. The only thing left was a note. He read it and crumpled it up. "Bloody useless slayer." He stalked out of the apartment slamming the door behind him. "I'll fuckin kill her next time I see her." No one used him like that. Despite the fact that he knew it had been a two way street, he was still pissed that twice in a week he had been walked out on. He left town that night.

Instead of following Buffy, he decided to go in the opposite direction and began tracking Drucilla.

When he finally caught up with Dru, they were miles from California. He found her with another demon. Not surprising. "I can see her all around you" Dru told him. "You can't blame a girl Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you; all I see is the Slayer." His face was expressionless. "Yeah well luv what can I say. I have plans for her. Big plans."


End file.
